Have a Drink Instead of a Brain Aneurism

I’m trying out a new process for responding whenever I jump on Facebook and see that someone has posted the most ignorant and misguided crap I’ve ever seen. For example, someone might post: “Brazilians have cured cancer, and drug companies don’t want you to know! The...

Barrel Full of Dumbass

I spend a lot of time editing right now. I suck at it because I’ve been through the story in question so often I can now no longer see what’s on the page. That’s a literal statement. I can’t see a misplaced comma any better than I could see Blackbeard’s ghost. A...

[insert perfect title here]

Today I’m struggling with a title. I’ve read that Hemmingway went through hundreds of possible titles for each book. I’ve only been through 100 or so, but every one of them reeks of inadequacy. I need a title that compels people to read my...

Listen or Die!

I’d like to round up every manager in every business in America, chain each of them to a clammy, stone wall somewhere, and teach them improv until their eyes bleed. Not only would it be fun for me, but they would thank me once their mind-shattering rage had passed....

You Have a Bunch of Dead Guys

I wrote the end of the middle of a book last night. This is the part where I drink some schnapps and celebrate, because writing the middle of a long story beats me down. When I write the beginning, I crackle with fun and excitement, because it’s all new and anything...