My People’s Nonchalant Regard for the Facts

Someone at your memorial will speak the facts. They’ll say you were born then and died now, describe the work you spent your life doing, mention the people you loved who are still alive and the ones who died before you. Everyone in the room will already know those...

Dear Santa – Vol. 1

Dear Santa, I’ve been a very good boy this year. Mostly. For Christmas I’d like a 1,000 mile long arm I can use to slap the shit out of people when they need it. Love you. Say hi to the reindeer. Bill

“The Santa Fix” Has Been Published

My short story “The Santa Fix” was published today by Open Heart Publishing in the anthology “An Honest Lie, Volume 3: Justifiable Hypocrisy”. It’s available in paper format now, and will be offered in electronic format soon. I think that...

Santa Claus Can Kiss My Ass

I have decided that Santa Claus can kiss my ass. We once had a warm relationship. He gave me my first bicycle. I helped him build the deck over his back porch. We bitched about global warming together, which is truly creating havoc up at the North Pole. It was all...